Do NOT Make These 5 Mistakes with CPS!

If Child Protective Services (CPS) has just called or knocked on your door, your stomach is probably in your shoes. You are not alone—and you are not powerless. You still have rights, and what you do next can make a big difference for your family.

In many situations, you do not have to let CPS into your home or agree to every request on the spot. They typically need to have your consent or a court order to enter your home, although the rules may vary in emergency circumstances or in different states.

But saying yes to everything out of fear—or saying no to everything out of anger—can both backfire. National data shows that most CPS reports do not end in a confirmed finding of abuse or neglect, but every investigation should still be taken seriously.

This guide walks you through the biggest mistakes people make with CPS and safer, more informed steps you can take while you look for a qualified attorney in your state.

Important: This article shares general information, not legal advice. CPS rules and procedures vary a lot by state and even by county. Always check your state’s laws and talk to a local attorney about your specific situation.

Quick Overview of the 5 Biggest Mistakes

Use this as a fast snapshot. You can tap on each mistake (or scroll down) for the full breakdown and examples.

What This Guide Can & Cannot Do

CPS touches some of the most painful parts of family life, and the stakes are high. That’s why it is so important to be clear about what this article is—and what it isn’t.

• This is education, not legal advice. We’re walking through patterns we’ve seen and research from national sources like the federal Child Maltreatment 2023 report. None of this replaces advice from a licensed attorney in your state.
• Your rights and CPS powers depend on where you live. Each state has its own laws about warrants, “exigent circumstances,” recording conversations, and more. Even within a state, different counties or offices may handle things a little differently.
• You still have rights, even when CPS is involved. You have the right to ask questions, to understand the allegations, to seek a lawyer, and, in many situations, to say you want time to think before agreeing to something.

We strongly encourage families who have been contacted by CPS to consult with a qualified attorney who can help guide them through the process. We realize this can be expensive, so we’ve listed several resources below that can help.

Don’t make these 5 mistakes!

Please don’t fall into the trap of thinking this can’t happen to you. No matter how good of a parent you are, a Child Protective Services visit can happen to anyone… and if you’re not careful, you could make a serious mistake before you even really know what’s happening. I know because it’s happened to me!

Based on my own experience, here are the five most common mistakes that people make with CPS.

#1: Don’t get defensive, anxious or angry.

Breathe. Be calm… and be quiet!

I know how it feels. You feel that sudden rush of adrenaline. You feel accused, shameful, inadequate, upset and under attack. You may even feel anger – especially if you think you know who made the call!

Stay calm. Don’t show your anger or anxiety, and try not to overshare or argue on the spot. I have learned that it is best to keep quiet instead of volunteering unnecessary information. I understand the urge to be cooperative but you could just be making things worse for yourself later.

Many CPS referrals are very vague. They only know what was reported to them and usually that information is not very specific. If you jump in and start oversharing everything immediately, you may accidentally say something that gets misunderstood or used against you later in the process.

Once an investigation begins, CPS may ask follow-up questions about other concerns they notice or learn about during the process. Even if the allegations against you are false, they will be paying attention for other items of concern and can begin investigating other allegations based on their findings.

It’s important to be very careful what you say, especially before you’ve had the chance to seek legal guidance.

#2: Do not let them in the house before you understand your rights.

In most cases, CPS cannot enter a home without the parent’s permission unless they have a court order or there is an immediate emergency involving a child’s safety. However, rules vary and emergencies can change what they can do.

You can usually ask who they are, what agency they’re with, and what allegations they are investigating. You can often say, “I’m not comfortable with a home visit right now. I’d like to speak with an attorney before I agree to that.”

At the same time, it is important to be honest: if CPS believes a child is in immediate danger, they may seek a court order or work with law enforcement to see or remove the child quickly. That is one reason why flat refusals without legal advice can be risky.

No matter what you choose, it is important to stay calm. Here are some tips that may be able to help:

• Stay calm at the door. You can say something like, “I’d like to know more about why you’re here. Can you tell me what the allegations are?”
• Avoid long, casual conversations. Short, clear answers are safer than nervous oversharing.
• Ask to reschedule a home visit. Unless there is a true emergency or court order, you can often request a different time so you can clean up, arrange childcare, or get legal advice.
• Learn what CPS can and cannot demand. The guide What CPS Can and Cannot Do offers a deeper dive into common questions.
• Prepare for any future home visit. If a visit is scheduled, read What Does CPS Look for in a Home Visit Checklist? so you know what they tend to notice.

#3: Do NOT forget to ask these important questions.

I was still dazed when the CPS investigator left my house. Shocked, I immediately called an attorney and my mother-in-law… and then I realized just how much I didn’t know. They were asking me questions, and I realized that I didn’t know the investigator’s name or what I was accused of! It was astounding how little I knew about what was going on.

That’s a bad place to be — because when you don’t have information, it’s hard to make smart decisions.

So if CPS contacts you, here are a few questions you should ask right away. And yes — write down the answers.

Some questions that I found helpful to ask include:

1. Can I see your ID?
2. What is the name and phone number of your supervisor?
3. What are the exact allegations that have been made against me?
4. Do you have a court order or warrant to enter my home or interview my children? (If they say yes, you can ask to see it.)

In most CPS cases, parents are entitled to know the general reason for the investigation. But investigators may not always be able (or willing) to share every detail immediately — and what they can disclose can depend on state law, agency policy, and the stage of the investigation.

That’s why it’s important to stay calm and keep asking for clarity.

In my own case, I had to request a supervisor before I could get a clear explanation of what the report actually claimed. Once I finally understood the allegations, I was able to start gathering information that showed they were not accurate. In fact, when I finally got the details, I learned the allegations were easy to disprove — which may be exactly why she didn’t want to share them upfront.

About Recording the Conversation (Be Careful)

It’s understandable to want a record of what was said — especially when the situation is stressful.

However, recording laws vary by state. Some states allow one-person consent, and some require everyone involved to agree. If you’re unsure, the safest option is to ask clearly: “Do you mind if I record this conversation?”

Most smartphones have built-in apps that can provide audio and video recording. If you want to audio without using the camera, this Smart Voice recorder by SmartMob is one of my favorites.

If you can’t record, take notes. Open your notes app and start writing down what they say. If you don’t have a notes app ready, open a draft email or text message and type your notes there. Even messy notes are better than relying on your memory later.

#4: Do NOT sign things you don’t fully understand.

One of the biggest mistakes parents make during a CPS investigation is signing paperwork just to “get it over with.”

When a CPS investigator is standing in your living room, asking you questions, and you’re scared out of your mind, it’s easy to fall into survival mode. After all, you just want the visit to end. You want them to leave so that your life can go back to normal. I get it.

So when they pull out a form and say something like:

• “This is just routine.”
• “This is just a formality.”
• “If you don’t sign, it makes you look uncooperative.”
• “This is just so we can close the case faster.”

…a lot of parents sign.

And that can be a serious mistake.

CPS paperwork isn’t always harmless.

Sometimes the forms they ask you to sign can include things like permission to enter your home in the future, consent to request records, or safety plans that you are expected to follow to the letter. Some documents can even contain language that sounds reasonable at first — but may be interpreted as an admission of guilt or agreement with the allegations.

And once you sign something, it can be extremely difficult to undo it.

If you don’t fully understand the paperwork, ask for more time. In many situations, you can ask for time to read documents carefully or review them with an attorney. Try saying something like: “I’m not comfortable signing anything without reading it carefully” or “I want to review this with an attorney before I sign.” You don’t have to be rude or argue. Just remember, if someone is rushing you, that’s a sign you should slow down.

#5: Do NOT assume you can’t get legal help just because you can’t afford it.

During that initial CPS contact, state your intention to get an attorney even if you can’t afford one. I know – this is a website for low income people and attorneys are VERY expensive. I understand that.

However, there are many free legal services available. We have a full list of free legal aid agencies in all 50 states right here!

Also, when we were going through our investigation, I found that many lawyers provide a FREE 30 minute consultation on your first visit. When CPS visited us a few years ago, we followed up with a local family law attorney and received some very good advice during our free 30 minute visit. The attorney assured us we didn’t need any additional help, and we felt confident and capable of moving forward on our own after our consultation.

Ready for the good news?!

In some areas, CPS may be able to connect families with services and programs can help your family. Even if you are investigated – and even if the allegations are deemed unfounded – you may be able to get some valuable help from this agency!

Sometimes, CPS may be able to connect families with resources like food assistance, diapers, or help finding community support. After our recent investigation, we were given $500 toward our utility bills!

One of the most important things to remember is that Child Protective Services investigators are just people doing their jobs. Sometimes they miss things and sometimes they make mistakes. Sometimes, they see some truly horrific things. Most investigators are just doing their jobs — and while mistakes can happen, many are focused on safety and compliance, not punishment.

That being said, EVERY investigation is a serious matter. Just because CPS can help you doesn’t mean you should let your guard down!

Relief Recap

If CPS has shown up at your door (or you’re dealing with an investigation right now), take a deep breath. A CPS visit can feel terrifying and confusing — but it doesn’t automatically mean you’ve done something wrong, and you don’t have to handle everything perfectly to protect your family.

Focus on the basics: stay calm, ask questions, write everything down, and don’t sign anything you don’t understand. You have rights, you can slow the process down, and you can get legal help — even if money is tight. One step at a time.